How I Overcame Decision Fatigue on My Birthday (And How You Can Too)
Okay, let's talk about something real: decision fatigue. If you have ADHD, you'll know exactly what I'm saying.
It's that mental burnout that happens after making one too many decisions—big or small. You've probably had it happen when you're deciding what to wear, deciding what to eat for the day, or even deciding what to do on your birthday.
And trust me, that last one can get pretty messy.
I recently reached rock bottom with decision fatigue while trying to organize my birthday.
The short version: it was a hot mess.
But after all the hemming and hawing, I managed to sort out a way to wrestle the chaos back into control and push forward.
So I decided to share with you my story and how you can apply these techniques to remain out of the decision spiral.
Decision Fatigue + ADHD = A Recipe for Disaster
Decision fatigue sets in when your brain gets depleted from having too many options.
And if you have ADHD, that depletion is even greater because your brain is already working in overdrive to maintain focus and deal with tasks.
Small decisions turn into mountains. And the more decisions you must make, the worse it is.
I experienced this myself when I was planning to prepare for my birthday.
My original plan? A trip to Florida. Then a massive flight crisis struck as a result of one plane crash after another, and my anxiety skyrocketed completely.
I suddenly didn't know where I was heading or even what I would do.
Should I stick near home?
Should I be traveling somewhere else?
Should I just cancel everything and take a nap?
I was paralyzed by choice.
How I Survived My Birthday Decision Fatigue
This birthday choice started off with a whole lot of "What the heck am I going to do?" I couldn't figure out if I wanted to chill, relax, or some place more active but crowded.
Procrastination came in next. I was continually flipping my brain back and forth, but something didn't feel right.
I didn't want to go too crowded or too out there in the middle of nowhere. Then it hit me: keep it simple.
After much to-and-fro, I finally settled on a low-key plan: something simple.
With my husband's prodding (thank God for him), I chose something that was not too complicated and low-key.
And guess what?
It was just what I needed.
Sometimes, overthinking just adds to the stress.
But that wasn't the initial time I was overcome with decision fatigue that day.
When I visited to get my nails done, the same thing occurred. I hemmed and hawed about colors and designs for eternity. I'm talking about eternity.
Do I be bold?
Do I be basic?
Do I go neutral or bright?
Eventually, I told the nail technician to just freestyle the design, and guess what?
It turned out great!
Having the freedom of not having to decide on everything was a lifesaver.
What You Can Learn from This Chaos
I get it, options can appear to be piling up and you don't know how to break free from the madness. But there are ways of managing decision fatigue so that it doesn't manage your life.
Below are some tips that work for me, and they can work for you, too:
1. Limit the Decisions You Make
This is huge for people with ADHD. The fewer choices you make, the higher. Start off by simplifying your routines—what you eat, what you wear, entertainment. For example, prepare all of your food for the week so you're not faced with making a daily choice of what to eat. If you plan out your wardrobe in advance, you won't be left spending hours gazing at your closet.
2. Use Tools to Stay Organized
Get some structure into your life. Checklists, calendars, and even ADHD-sanctioned apps can save you from spiraling. Writing down your to-do's keeps you organized regarding what needs to be done without needing to make a decision every time you think about it. Further, using timers or the Pomodoro Technique (work for 25 minutes, then break for 5 minutes) can keep you focused and work through tasks without being overwhelmed.
3. Just Prioritize
Not everything has to be a priority. It's easy to get overwhelmed in attempting to decide everything at one time. Rank what really does matter. Cut through the chaos and get on with the serious stuff first. Trust me, you don't need to muddle through all the decisions. My birthday? I made it easy because I knew the rest of the choices would just upset me.
4. Let Someone Else Take the Wheel Sometimes
This is a doozy. If you're in a rut, ask for help. Don't be afraid to let someone else handle something. I was trying to figure out what to do on my birthday, and my husband rescued me by pointing me in the direction of something low-key. Whenever possible, have someone else handle a decision or two, even something as minuscule as picking a nail color or where to eat dinner.
5. Use a Framework for Big Decisions
Having a plan helps a lot. If you're going to make a bigger decision (like travel plans or something work-related), use a simplified model to decide. If you're taking too long to decide, divide the decision into parts. I like to put time limits on decisions. If I don't figure it out within 10 minutes, I make a choice and stick with it.
6. Take Breaks—Seriously
Your brain needs rest, especially when you’re juggling a million decisions. Take frequent breaks throughout your day. Step away from work, take a walk, or even just lie down for a few minutes. This helps clear your mind and avoid feeling totally drained.
7. Give Yourself Permission to Say “I Don’t Know”
You don't have to make all of your choices perfect. Every once in a while, you can just let off the pressure. If you are stuck, feel free to say "I don't know" and try something else. The world won't end if you didn't select the perfect birthday vacation spot or nail color. Actually, accepting imperfection might make you less tense.
To sum it all up, decision fatigue isn't funny, especially when you have ADHD. But it doesn't have to control your life.
The trick is to keep it simple, have boundaries, and realize that not every decision needs to be "the right decision."
From my birthday adventure to getting my nails done, I learned that the best choices happen when you refrain from overanalyzing and simply let go of needing to be perfect.
So the next time you find yourself stuck in a decision-making mode, make it simpler. Prioritize what matters most, step away, and get help when you need it.
Trust me, it'll make a world of a difference.
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ADHD Isn’t Just About Focus—It’s a Whole Different Way of Experiencing Life!
Main image by Ehimetalor Akhere Unuabona
ADHD isn't just an issue of being hyper or having a problem focusing—it's about experiencing the world in an entirely different manner.
If you've got ADHD (or think you do), you already know it's not about forgetting your keys for the dozenth time or zoning out in the middle of a discussion.
It's the rollercoaster of hyperfocus one day and utter forgetfulness the next.
It's the struggle of time management, thought organization, and even relationship management.
Some days, you're unstoppable. On other days, you can't remember why you opened the fridge.
Ring a bell?
This vivid image captures a bustling city that never truly stops, where everyday life's vibrant hustle and bustle plays out like a never-ending show. The constant motion and clamor reflect the delightful yet chaotic whirlwind that characterizes the overactive mind of someone with ADHD. It's a beautiful mess, brimming with energy and excitement, yet it often overwhelms one in the vibrant maze.
What Causes ADHD?
ADHD isn’t just about “not trying hard enough” or “being lazy.” It’s a legit brain difference, and science backs it up.
Genetics Play a Big Role
If your parents or siblings have ADHD, there’s a good chance you do too. Studies show that it runs in families.
Brain Chemistry & Structure
Image of the brain lighting up with thoughts and different processes
Focus, motivation, and impulse control are all impacted by the variations in dopamine levels in the brains of people with ADHD. The "control center" of the brain, which is responsible for executive function, doesn't always function the same way in neurotypical brains.
Environmental Factors
Prenatal exposure to drugs, alcohol, or nicotine may increase the chance of ADHD.
Prenatal exposure to drugs, alcohol, or nicotine may elevate the risk of ADHD. Low birth weight and premature birth are linked to a higher likelihood of ADHD.
Some research suggests that early exposure to lead and other chemicals may also play a role.
Low birth weight and premature birth are associated with an increased risk of ADHD.
According to some research, early exposure to lead and other chemicals may also be involved.
ADHD Symptoms: The Three Big Categories
ADHD symptoms are usually grouped into three major categories: inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. You might lean heavily toward one or experience a mix of all three. Here’s what that looks like in real life:
Inattention Symptoms (aka The Scatterbrain Struggles)
You start a task with full enthusiasm, only to abandon it five minutes later because something else caught your eye.
Your workspace looks like a hurricane hit it—papers, coffee cups, and random objects everywhere.
You lose your phone, keys, or wallet at least twice a day. (And they’re always in some weird place, like the fridge.)
You space out in conversations, even when you’re genuinely interested.
You leave projects until the last minute, even though you know it’ll stress you out later.
Keeping a planner sounds like a great idea, but actually using it consistently? Not happening.
Hyperactivity Symptoms (aka The Human Energy Drink)
You tap your foot, click your pen, or bounce your leg constantly—sitting still feels like torture.
You interrupt people mid-sentence, not because you’re rude, but because your brain moves a mile a minute.
You get up and pace while thinking, watching TV, or even talking on the phone.
You talk a lot. Like, a lot. And sometimes realize you’ve been rambling for five minutes straight.
Sitting through a long meeting or lecture? Absolute nightmare.
Impulsivity Symptoms (aka Oops, Did I Just Say That?)
You say things without thinking, which can occasionally result in awkward circumstances.
You make spontaneous decisions without taking into account the advantages and disadvantages; sometimes they turn out well, and other times they go wrong.
You find it difficult to wait your turn in traffic, lines, or conversations. Very impatient because you feel like you are in a rush.
Purchases on impulse are your worst enemy when it comes to online buying, therefore it might be risky.
ADHD Ain’t a Weakness—It’s Just a Different Operating System
Having ADHD doesn’t mean you’re lazy, unmotivated, or incapable.
It just means your brain works differently, and you need to find strategies that fit your style.
Some of the most creative, successful, and innovative people in history had ADHD.
The key is learning how to work with your brain, not against it. Whether it’s medication, therapy, lifestyle changes, or a mix of everything, you can build a system that helps you thrive.
ADHD isn’t a roadblock—it’s just a different way of navigating the world.
Managing ADHD isn’t about "fixing" yourself—it’s about finding the right tools to work with your brain, not against it.
That’s why I created an ADHD Planner to help you stay on track without overwhelm.
You can grab yours now here and start organizing life on your terms!
Click here to check it out!
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Why You're Failing at ADHD: Undiagnosed and Misdiagnosed in Black Women
Image credits
Jessica Felicio
As a Black Woman with ADHD, I was both misdiagnosed and undiagnosed as a teenager and as an adult. I was a busy child, but not busy enough to be considered hyperactive.
I was considered to be busy, not bad, because my mama didn’t want me to have the concept that I was bad or had behavior issues. Another symptom that I had when I was a kid was that I was a “chatterbox.”
Well, that hasn’t changed much at all, and sometimes my mouth moves faster than my mind. I talked for hours about different things, and I was just considered gifted.
I knew how to behave when in public and was just simply silly acting when at home. My parents did not look at me as if something was wrong with me because I was deemed to be so intelligent.
They thought this because, according to my teachers and how they observed me, I learned objectives faster than the average child my age and retained so much information.
Now, I cannot say this in today’s day and time because I have more of a “chatterbrain.”
Fast forward to today’s time. As an adult, I was misdiagnosed as having ADD for years, beginning at age 31.
The first psychiatrist and therapist that I saw stated that I had ADD because my attention span was very short during my sessions and I did not make eye contact for a long period.
Since they weren’t my boo thang, I didn’t realize that I had to look them in the eye, so why would I do so in the first place?
In my eyes, they were simply there to know my business and not to help with anything that I couldn’t help with myself.
Then I went to one psychiatrist, and she informed me that my diagnosis was incorrect.
I was appalled because I knew that I did have attention issues. The psychiatrist based their diagnosis on what was observed and talked about in the office, as well as any notes that the therapist wrote in their sessions.
I was then given the correct diagnosis of having ADHD.
Both my therapist and psychiatrist explained to me the symptoms that I resonated with as to why I now have ADHD and not ADD.
'What's wrong with me?' ADHD undiagnosed in Black girls
This type of misdiagnosis happens all the time to Black women specifically.
Some psychiatric physicians will not look deeply into what is going on with the patient based on their symptoms, conversation, or how they are acting. Instead, these physicians will just come up with something on their own or look it up online without really utilizing observation or testing.
When the physicians do this, they will just prescribe a specific medication, which entails more issues than before.
Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom. ~Aristotle
Overall, there is no better teacher than you.
It is important to understand your diagnosis and not self-diagnose but to know what is going on with your body and mind.
This will save a lot of misdiagnosing and underdiagnosing time for physicians if there is a clearer understanding to begin with.
This all starts with recognizing symptoms and knowing when something isn’t quite right.
Have you ever been undiagnosed or misdiagnosed with a mental illness?
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