My Birthday Reflection on Growth with ADHD
Today is my birthday. And honestly, most birthdays once used to have a tinge of bitterness for me. There was always this undertone of sadness underlying the celebrations, because my mom isn't with me anymore.
Not being able to celebrate this day with her, not getting to hear her voice or catch her hug, left an aching gap which felt hard to fill.
A photo of my beautiful Momma, Dorothy W. Jones, on the right and my, her twin, Netta on the left. This is one of my favorite photos that I will always cherish♥️♥️♥️
But somewhere along the way, I've grown to accept that grief and temper it into something different—into joy, into gratitude, into living my life in her honor.
And today, I am complete. I am at peace. I am at ease. I am ready—with open arms—to welcome whatever God has in store for me.
Reflecting on 42: A Year of Miracles
Looking back over this past year of my life—age 42—I can see how far I've come.
I have accomplished more in one year than I ever could have imagined, and honestly, more than many get to accomplish in a whole lifetime. And I don't say this triumphantly—I say it gratefully.
New Callings and Creative Courage
I began a new profession (my 4th and final career) as a birth and postpartum doula, stepping in intentionally and working with families through some of their most sacred moments.
I launched two publications on Substack, Vent to Victory, where I turn vents of day-to-day life as an ADHDer, mom, wife, and Black woman in America into a victory. The main publication is ADHDventures in Homeschooling, where I talk about the life of homeschooling as a mommy with ADHD, the goods, the chaos, and gratitude.
I began a blog, a podcast (Chatterbrain Mommy), and an e-book that is deeply personal and emotional to my journey.
Connections That Became Chosen Family
With all that, I've encountered some of the sweetest souls—those who've not only advised me but who now are friends, sisters, and chosen family.
They've invested in me just as I've learned to invest in others.
The Radical Shift: Choosing Myself First
But perhaps the most revolutionary of this journey? I've learned to put myself first.
As someone with ADHD, that hasn't always been intuitive. We get pulled in by the hustle, by the whirl of overthinking and overstimulation, constantly chasing after the next thing or trying to "catch up."
But this year, I took my foot off the gas.
I learned to sleep without guilt.
I embraced quiet.
I re-established my spirituality, deepening my connection with God in a way that keeps me centered no matter what's going on around me.
I began to turn about the old habits and replacing them with intentional routines. I found joy within myself. I stopped waiting for peace and instead learned how to create it.
A photo of me as I embrace the beautiful bloom of many flowers, meaning many opportunities arise as I walk in my purpose.
A photo of me as I am so joyful. These flowers were given to me by my baby daughter on my 21st anniversary on 4/13/2025.
Walking Boldly in My Purpose
That's why I'm still strutting my stuff confidently in my ministry as an ADHD life and wellness coach. In spite of the bumps, in spite of the doubt, I know this is what I am called to do.
My coaching website will be live in a few weeks, and I'm already taking pre-appointments.
I've had single-session work that has reminded me how desperately this work is needed—and I'm just so blessed to be creating a successful business where I can come fully, not only for my clients, but for my family as well.
Welcoming 43: A Year for Blooming
This year, 43 is going to be about growth and establishment. Last year was establishing—putting the foundation down. This year is about watering the seeds that I planted last year and watching them bloom.
So stay tuned. God’s not done. I’m walking in my purpose, with love in my heart, and fire in my spirit—and I’m ready to help others do the same.
How to Help Your Homeschool Child Get Organized (When You’re Brain is Unorganized)
The term "organized chaos" isn't just a catchphrase if you're anything like me; it's a way of life. I frequently feel like I'm barely surviving as a mom with ADHD who homeschools. Nevertheless, here I am, attempting to teach my children the same skill that I find most difficult: organizing.
I recognize the irony. The good news is that you don't need to be a naturally organized person to help your children learn how to be organized. Teaching them can actually be a learning experience for both of you. Even if you've never used a planner before, you can still come up with a method that works if you have a little humor, patience, and ingenuity.
Learning Alongside My Kids
I’ll be honest: when I first tried to get my child to organize his homeschool work, it was an absolute disaster. Papers everywhere, lost pencils, and forgotten assignments. I tried color-coded folders, elaborate schedules, and even bought a fancy planner, but within days, it all fell apart.
That’s when I realized I was approaching it the wrong way. Instead of trying to teach a system that I wasn’t even good at, I needed to make it a team effort. So, I reframed my approach:
💡 Instead of "Let me teach you how to be organized," I switched to "Let’s learn this together."
That one change made a world of difference.
1. Start Small & Keep It Simple
Burnout is inevitable if you attempt to change your homeschooling system all at once (for you and your child). Rather, begin with tiny, doable measures.
✅ Choose one thing at a time—maybe organizing their daily assignments or setting up a routine for putting supplies away.
✅ Set a timer for five minutes at the end of the day to do a quick tidy-up of the homeschool area.
What is working for us: We started with a "Clean Desk Challenge." At the end of school or when I want my 6-year-old to clean his toys, we set a timer and spend five minutes organizing our workspace. No pressure, no stress—just a quick reset. Small steps, big impact.
2. Make It Visual (Because ADHD Brains Need It!)
I cannot rely on memory alone to keep us on track. So, I turned to visual supports—the lifeline of every ADHD household.
📌 Charts, color-coded labels, and sticky notes are our best friends.
📖 What worked for us: We created a homeschool binder where my child can see everything at a glance. Inside, we have:
A checklist of subjects for the day
A simple, flexible "unscheduled schedule"
A place to store completed work so nothing gets lost
My son loves checking things off. It gives him a sense of accomplishment, and I love that it keeps him on track without me nagging.
3. Make It a Game (Because Fun = Engagement)
Let’s be real—if it’s not fun, ADHD brains check out. So, we turned organizing into a game.
🎯 How we do it:
We play a game called "Speedy Clean"—where we race against a timer to see who can finish their task first.
My job: Organizing the papers and books
His job: Sorting crayons, markers, and supplies into their proper spots
Guess who wins every time? Hint: It’s not me. 😂
🏆 Bonus Tip: Add rewards! Stickers, small treats, or extra screen time work wonders for motivation.
4. Lead by Example (Even If You Struggle)
This part is hard because—let’s be honest—if I were naturally organized, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. But the truth is, kids learn from what they see, not just what we say.
What worked for us: I started doing one small, visible habit every day—making my bed.
One morning, my son saw me doing it and proudly announced: "I’m going to make my bed too, Mommy!" It wasn’t perfect, but he tried, and that’s what matters.
Moral of the story: Your kids don’t need you to be perfect. They just need to see you trying.
5. Celebrate Progress (Not Perfection)
Organization isn’t about doing things perfectly every time—it’s about building habits.
🙌 How we celebrate: We have "Organization Fridays." Every Friday, we:
Do a quick reset of our homeschool area
Reflect on what worked that week
Treat ourselves to something fun (a movie, game night, or a treat)
These little victories keep us motivated and remind us that progress is more important than perfection.
Final Thoughts: Growing Together
Helping your homeschooled child get organized when you feel entirely unorganized yourself can feel impossible. But the truth is, it’s one of the most humbling and rewarding things you can do.
💡 You don’t have to be a master of organization to teach it. You just have to be willing to learn alongside your child.
💡 The goal isn’t perfection—it’s progress. And along the way, you’re teaching them not just how to arrange their schoolwork, but how to be resilient, adaptable, and problem-solving thinkers.
That’s a win for both of you.
Ready to build systems that work for you and your child? Download my guide, Homeschooling Like a Pro (Even With ADHD!), for more practical tips and strategies to thrive in homeschooling and beyond.
Why You're Failing at ADHD: Undiagnosed and Misdiagnosed in Black Women
Image credits
Jessica Felicio
As a Black Woman with ADHD, I was both misdiagnosed and undiagnosed as a teenager and as an adult. I was a busy child, but not busy enough to be considered hyperactive.
I was considered to be busy, not bad, because my mama didn’t want me to have the concept that I was bad or had behavior issues. Another symptom that I had when I was a kid was that I was a “chatterbox.”
Well, that hasn’t changed much at all, and sometimes my mouth moves faster than my mind. I talked for hours about different things, and I was just considered gifted.
I knew how to behave when in public and was just simply silly acting when at home. My parents did not look at me as if something was wrong with me because I was deemed to be so intelligent.
They thought this because, according to my teachers and how they observed me, I learned objectives faster than the average child my age and retained so much information.
Now, I cannot say this in today’s day and time because I have more of a “chatterbrain.”
Fast forward to today’s time. As an adult, I was misdiagnosed as having ADD for years, beginning at age 31.
The first psychiatrist and therapist that I saw stated that I had ADD because my attention span was very short during my sessions and I did not make eye contact for a long period.
Since they weren’t my boo thang, I didn’t realize that I had to look them in the eye, so why would I do so in the first place?
In my eyes, they were simply there to know my business and not to help with anything that I couldn’t help with myself.
Then I went to one psychiatrist, and she informed me that my diagnosis was incorrect.
I was appalled because I knew that I did have attention issues. The psychiatrist based their diagnosis on what was observed and talked about in the office, as well as any notes that the therapist wrote in their sessions.
I was then given the correct diagnosis of having ADHD.
Both my therapist and psychiatrist explained to me the symptoms that I resonated with as to why I now have ADHD and not ADD.
'What's wrong with me?' ADHD undiagnosed in Black girls
This type of misdiagnosis happens all the time to Black women specifically.
Some psychiatric physicians will not look deeply into what is going on with the patient based on their symptoms, conversation, or how they are acting. Instead, these physicians will just come up with something on their own or look it up online without really utilizing observation or testing.
When the physicians do this, they will just prescribe a specific medication, which entails more issues than before.
Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom. ~Aristotle
Overall, there is no better teacher than you.
It is important to understand your diagnosis and not self-diagnose but to know what is going on with your body and mind.
This will save a lot of misdiagnosing and underdiagnosing time for physicians if there is a clearer understanding to begin with.
This all starts with recognizing symptoms and knowing when something isn’t quite right.
Have you ever been undiagnosed or misdiagnosed with a mental illness?
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Check out the planner listed here that helped me stay on task daily.